How to Host a Blessingway (part 4)
The rituals
In the previous three posts, we’ve discussed the why’s of having a Blessingway, the gifts, food and decor. Now, we’ll explore the symbolic elements that infuse the event with meaning and love.
Pampering: Mom has her hair brushed, her feet soaked and her hands and shoulders massaged. Wearing a crown of flowers, she is surrounded by friends and love. If desired, her baby-bump is decorated with henna or she has a belly mask done (be sure to ask mom in advance if pampering items are desired).
Tip: be sure to choose organic and all natural papering items to protect mom and baby from toxic chemicals that are in many conventional products.
The bead ritual: In addition to gift elements, ask guests to bring two beads or charms. One for Mom and one for Baby. During the celebration, sit in a circle and invite guests to string the necklaces and to share the reasons why they chose the particular beads/charms. A red bead may symbolize strength the mother holds within her; a pearl may be chosen to wish the baby a peaceful delivery (and life!).When the necklaces are complete, let the mom know she may choose to wear the necklace in labor or to keep it close to her, to remind her of the love and support that surrounds her. The baby’s necklace will be presented to the baby when he/she is older.
Tip: Let the dad-to-be know that this ritual will be taking place. Ask him to send along his own bead and beads from older children and other family members as s surprise for the mom during her Blessingway.
The string ritual (may be done instead of or in addition to the string ritual): Toward the end of the event, with everyone in a circle, the person who brought the yarn, begins by winding the yarn around her wrist and then passing the yarn to the woman sitting next to her. (This may be done in silence, or a blessing/wish may be given for the mother as each person received the yarn.) Continue around the circle until everyone is included (including the mom). Then, let the group know that those present represent the circle of support that surrounds the mom and that while the ties will be cut, the love for her remains. Next, pass scissors around and let everyone help the women sitting next to them to tie a piece of the yarn around their wrists. When everyone is finished, announce that, for those willing, the yarn bracelets will be worn until they receive notice that the baby has been born. Until then, at any time, and especially when she is in labor, the mom can look down at her wrist and know that her dearest friends are thinking of her and symbolically connected. Lastly, invite the person who brought the yarn and knitted the cap, to present this gift to the mom (or to let her know that it will be forthcoming). The cap will be a lasting reminder of this meaningful ritual; and how amazing to imagine that soon her little one will be wearing this special hat, made with love.
Tip: Ask the person bringing the yarn/making the lat to consider using only natural fibers which are better for baby and planet. Wool, silk, alpaca and organic cotton are all great choices. Also suggest that she select a color that the other guests won’t mind wearing for a few weeks! Guests will appreciate not having to explain wearing a rainbow yarn bracelet to the office. (Or, depending on your guests, maybe this would be quite liberating!)
Parting gifts: As guest leave, give each a candle and ask that they add their name and phone number to a list to be called when the mom goes into labor (optional). The ideas is for all the guests to light their candles in unison, while thinking of the mom/saying a prayer for her. If most of your guests are opposed to a middle-of-the-night call, you may want to consider a daytime announcement for when the baby has been born. Be sure to keep the list with you and to let the mom know your plans so she or someone with her can call you at the right time.
Tip: Suggest that the guest bringing the candles chooses 100% besswax candles. They are cleaner burning and more sustainable. As a bonus, their warm, honey scent is au natural.
Lynn Colwell and Corey Colwell-Lipson are mother and daughter and authors of Celebrate Green! Creating Eco-Savvy Holidays, Celebrations and Traditions for the Whole Family, and founders of Green Halloween®.
