Corey's interview with 

1)    How do you feel about the general state of children's birthday parties in our culture?

Birthday parties, like many other celebrations and holidays have become highly focused on the "stuff" associated with them. For many parents – parties are expensive, stressful, time-consuming affairs. I have seen (in my own family and with friends), that celebrating simply can bring just as much joy and excitement as the over-the-top celebrations.

2)    What do you think are some key issues parents should consider when thinking about their children's birthday parties that might initiate some thoughts around scaling back financially?

Instead of worrying about how to scale back the entire party, break the event into bite-sized chunks and look for ways to save money on individual components. This way, cost cutting will feel more manageable and you may find that adjusting or eliminating just one or two components may leave more money for a cherished aspect of the party that you'd really like to include, but were afraid you couldn't afford.

Most parties include the following components: food, activities, décor and party gifts.

Examples of how to scale back:

·        Have the party outside and eliminate the need for décor, leaving more money for that rented bounce house.

·        Make the activity (i.e. a craft or baking) the take-home gift thereby reducing the cost of buying components for both.

·        Have the party between lunch and dinner and offer snacks or simply cake and ice cream.

Children don't need expensive, large scale parties to have fun on their birthdays. It's all in the parents' attitude and approach. If you say to your daughter, "I'm sorry, Sarah. This year we just can't afford to do anything fun like we did last year…," you're setting her up for an expectation that whatever you do, it won't be all that great. But if you can generate some excitement and enthusiasm regardless of the cost involved, she'll be just as excited as she has been in year's past.

3)   Do you think that parents sometimes mindlessly compete with other parents and parties instead of thoughtfully considering what their child would actually like to do and with whom they'd like to do it for their birthday?

It's easy to get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses, but I think that parents generally approach party planning with their children's best interest and desires in mind.

It's important to remember, however, that children don't need extravagant, expensive affairs to have fun. And parents who throw grandiose parties starting with their children's first birthday, often find themselves feeling as though each birthday party must be more splendid than the last. By the time their child turns 18, they may have worked their way up to a bash that will cost as much as a year's college tuition.

If you'd like to plan your child's party mindfully, start by closing your eyes and recalling your favorite moments from childhood birthday celebrations. Chances are, the joy you remember had little to do with the "stuff" and a lot to do with the people you were with and the experiences you had. Planning your child's birthday party mindfully is a gift to you and your child because it means making choices based on what your family feels is most important.

Personal story: When my daughter turned three, instead of asking her what kind of party she wanted, I suggested to her that we have a "purple party." Purple was her head-over-heels, absolute favorite color. Of course, she was intrigued and on board. Instead of heading to the nearest party store looking for purple party gear, the whole family went on a hunt around the house looking for anything purple. Then, we cleared the room where the party would take place and decorated with all of the purple items. It was eclectic, silly and fun. For food – everything was purple, of course – grape juice, grape jello, grapes, fig cookies, and cupcakes with a purple frosting colored with all-natural, organic dye.

4)   What practical ideas do you have for parents who want to scale back for their child's birthday this year but still want them to have a great time?

·        Use free e-invitations through a site like e-vite or by using your own e-mail (a video e-vite is also easy and unique).

·        Instead of decorating the whole house, choose one part of the room – i.e. the table – to deck out.

·        Instead of buying décor, how about filling the party space with framed photos of the birthday child from the time she was born to today. Accent with fresh-cut flowers. You can also make flower crowns as an activity/ take home gift.

·        Combine as many aspects of the party as possible – food/ activity/ take-home gift: Cooking theme.

·        Invite no more than one child per year the birthday child is old.

·        Alternate the years you do "family" and "friends" parties – one year do a family party, the next include friends.

·        Combine your friends and family party so you only celebrate once this year.

·        Make the party no more than 1.5 hours long. Stick to the end time.

·        Have an old-fashioned cake and ice-cream party. Play classic games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, Musical Chairs and Duck Duck Goose.

5)   You are an expert on green parties. Can you explain why being green often saves green (i.e cash)?

The number one "rule" in going green is reducing, followed by reusing and recycling. Not one costs money, and all will save it. Marketing has convinced parents that "going green" means buying expensive food, gifts and décor items but the reality is that you can save green while celebrating green by buying less and, when you do buy, buying more consciously (i.e. can the item be reused – and will we reuse it?). Here are a few more pointers:

·        Just say "no" to disposable tableware (plates, utensils, cups, napkins and tablecloths). Use what you already own or ask your guests to bring their own sets. Or borrow from friends, neighbors or grandma or head over to your local thrift shop (we always find amazing tableware items there!) or check out Freecycle or Craigslist. If you do want to go with something disposable, consider Preserve by Recycline. Their tableware is made from recycled yogurt cups, is machine washable and can be recycled at the end of its days. At my daughter's 8^th birthday, we used Preserve products that were on their 4^th party – and they held up like new. They also come in a variety of festive colors my kids love.

·        Don't go overboard with the food. Have the party in between meals and offer snacks only or – gasp – how about an old fashioned affair with just cake and ice cream? You might be surprised to find that other parents are craving more simplified parties as well.

·        Combine an activity with the take home gift – save money by making this a two-for-one. This can be an art/ craft activity or a baking one. Either way, consider the activities your child likes to do.

·        If you want to include organic food at the party, but can't afford to go all out, search the internet for a list called the "dirty dozen." This list will advise you on which foods should always be organic (if possible) and which conventionally grown foods are okay to consume. For example, its best to go with organic grapes, but conventional bananas are an okay choice.

·        You'll save money on décor if you steer clear of the party stores and look first through your own house for items that can be used or turned into décor (see personal story, above). You can also host a once-a-year décor swap with friends and neighbors. But my favorite piece of advice on décor is to use the same décor year after year (even if you buy it initially). Using items year-after-year during special occasions turns them into a beloved tradition. If you are going to go this route, consider eco-décor or items made by you or an artisan. They may cost more up front, but over time will save you money if you don't buy new every year.

6)   What are some cheap but fun venues for parties in our area?

Nothing's greener (or cheaper) than getting outside, no matter the season. My girls have birthdays at different times of the year (one in January, one in August) – but regardless of the temperature, we try to get outside. In the invitations we let parents know to please pack rain/snow gear (for January) and rain/ sun gear (for August) – and then we just "go with the flow" and let Mother Nature lead the way. Parks, beaches, the woods, etc. are all favorites.

7)   What are some fun themes for home-based parties?

Your child's favorite color, her favorite song or nursery rhyme, a different part of the world where you've traveled as a family are all great. Or how about a camping theme, an astronaut theme, or an underwater theme? These would be fun to decorate indoors… Or what about a backwards theme (everyone needs to come with their clothes on backwards and you can eat cake first), or a photography party where kids come with digital cameras and, during the party, take photos, print them out and make a book for the birthday boy? A farm-themed party would be easy to do – kids can come in overalls, play some themed games and go home with beans planted in cups.

8)   Gifts are a huge topic and sticky point for parents who want to have a party but either want it to be green and/or do not allow their kids to play with a bunch of licensed, plastic junk or what not. What suggestions do you have for parents who want to have a party for their child but want it to be light on the environment and/or ensure the child doesn't receive gifts that conflict with family values? (I'd love suggestions that go beyond donating to charity or guests bringing gifts for charity just because I don't think those are super innovative anymore.)

For my daughter's recent party, we included a line in her (e-) invitation that read, "The gift is your presence. Handmade cards only, please." We were not sure how the parents or the kids would take this approach, but it turned out to be incredibly special. The cards that the guests made and brought were truly gifts from the heart and my daughter was incredibly touched by their efforts. She didn't ask once, "Where are my gifts?" – as it was clear, she already had them all around her.

One option for gift giving would be to pool money and to give the birthday child one, special gift from the group (that the parent okays). One of the preschool classes at Three Cedars does this, if you want to interview any of the parents, I can get you in touch. They all LOVE this plan as it seems to work for everyone involved.

Another idea is www.echoage.com, which combines the giving to a charity idea with the one gift idea. Here is what their site says, :Instead of bringing wrapped and packaged presents, guests simply rsvp and make secure online contributions that are pooled for the purchase of ONE memorable gift and to support ONE meaningful cause.

A good friend of mine asks her guests to only bring used items (gathered from their home or a thrift/ consignment shop). It's amazing how "new" things look when they come in gift wrapping!

Speaking of gift wrap. If you're concerned with all the paper, ask guests to bring things unwrapped, then hide them and have the birthday child hunt for them.

9)   Do you have any suggestions for green and cheap thank you notes?

·        Make notes from pieces of the leftover wrapping paper from gifts

·        Use recycled or tree-free paper (you can buy paper made from garlic, banana, even elephant dung!)

·        Use would-be trash or recycled-bin-bound objects to create "notes" – CD cases, lids, boxes, playing cards (use the 10 card and glue a big "Q" in the middle (get it, "Ten-Q" = "Thank you"?).